The Way

I remember searching for my people
Never being able to find them
Different people saying “Here we are.”
As if one were better than another
Yet, not finding a place among their ways

Years alone with no relation
Lost in a world unwanted, tearing me apart
Giving up on living, yet still breathing
Deep in isolation, darkness deepening
The air stale and humid, praying for relief

Then I said a prayer unlike the others
“Help me to trust you.” Everything changed
The darkness increased
Then a glimmer of light began to shine
Like that before the sunrise

In that moment all was lost
In that same moment all was gained
All options were taken away
Endless possibilities opened all around
Heart, once tense and closed, opened

Health regained, walking out to meet him
Through those crossing my path
Experiencing light where light didn’t exist before
From the bonds of death, the chains broken
Free to walk out
To meet my people always there
Like a curtain lifted from over my eyes
Revealing all I was searching for and more

Many don’t believe in miracles
Still they hope for them
Hoping for something more
Limiting themselves to worldly desires
They miss the truth of their passion’s fire

I know this all too well
A simple prayer changed it all
Much to my surprise
And, at first, a little to my dismay
As the doors opened up to reveal
The way and the truth and the life






A Lesson

We see many things
Experience many things

Like a journey into the unknown
Alone in a desert
Or floating through space
Passing through each day
Striving for control
Of a future unknown
Spinning round and round
Desperately grasping
For any solid ground/stability

In the end
Is it all to simply
Come to trust the one
Who created it all?
A lesson in eternity
Through humility


If you were to ask me
I would say
“Life is filled with pitfalls”
Some say it is my fault
Others say it is the life I’ve chosen
The illnesses
The losses
The pain
The suffering

Could it be
What is needed
To help me see
The truth I why I’m here?
Beyond the worldly ideas
The material gain
The power struggles
To me
All seem insane

There seems to be a worldly standard
Of what happiness is to be
If one can’t attain it
From that view
There is something wrong with them
But that standard
Isn’t the one for me
My happiness comes from beyond the world
Though in the depths of sorrow
I feel uplifted
Though in the pain of illness
I feel I am being healed
Though many days have passed
Where suffering has ruled
My heart remains with the one
Who suffered for us all
That we may be free
Of the world


Forward In Grace

The story of my life
Is not a good one
One that should be left behind
Not that I did anything terrible
Or despicable
It was merely painful
Nothing memorable
Better left in the past
As I move through the present
Into the future

Memories come and go
Passing through the mind
As unwanted visitors
Finding myself
Accommodating them
While wishing
They would go away

All the while
The past holds images
A map to the present
Getting to where I am
The world is an unkind place
Where people have to strive
To be merciful
It simply isn’t natural
My heart will be mended
As my path continues
Winding my way
Through the straits and narrows
Over mountains
Through deserts
Across rolling oceans
Unfolding in the grace
From above


On My Way Home

No one is perfect
That’s not for me to say
What is perfect anyway?
I know I’m not perfect
To the standard I believe
Does this mean I’m broken?
Not necessarily

They speak of sin
In ways I don’t understand
Sin is much more than a simple action
It is the very corruption
The mud and muck endured each day
Drudging through
At times to exhaustion
Striving to become more
Than the corrupt nature
That is imperfection

There is no easy way
In fact, the more I pray
The more difficult it seems
Ask for greater wisdom
Greater challenges arise
To form that wisdom
Ask for more strength
Greater pressure occurs
To bring about that strength

If life were merely a playground
As so many want it to be
No worries no cares
No need to do anything
Wouldn’t it be nice
To be free of this corruption
Even when given into
It only makes things more difficult/painful
Maybe some are made for this world
I can testify I am not
It doesn’t like me
And I see only the challenge
Of passing through it’s insanity
On my way home


A Passing Day

The days pass strangely
Filled with people complaining
Listening to their pains and woes
Unable to do anything to change things

Inside I have my own complaints
At times wishing I was stronger
More perserverent
Looking back briefly
At the past paths
Seeing great strength
Enduring the madness


Days like today stand out
When everything seems to go wrong
Still the people sing their complaints
I want to scream, but don’t
A shaking, shuddering inside
Holding on
To the only stability I’ve ever known
Deep within and all around
I cry, “Why have you forsaken me?”
Then smile
Realizing it is all a gift
For if the world accepted me
If my days passed uneventful
Without challenge and trial
I would not come to know the true me
Here within all the lies and deception
Brought forth from a corrupt world
The foundation of all the complaints


Where Is Love?

Within the stuggle of life
There is love
Within the pain and suffering
There is love
Within the joy and happiness
There is love
Within us all
There is love
Within all of us together
There is love
Within all of life
There is love

Seemingly elusive is love
It is within all things
Yet cannot be seen
It is within all our actions
Yet often goes unnoticed
While wandering aimlessly
Longing for love
Seeking to find
A sense of completion
While already complete
Living in pain and suffering
Longing and despair
While love permeates everything
Endlessly supplying
Ever there to be received


Outside In

Movies make life seem more dramatic and exciting than it really is
Bored, many try to emulate what the see and experience on the screen
Even changing their looks to that of characters they admire
In the meantime, losing pieces of themselves and reality

Movies ignore, due to time constraints, the everyday lives of the characters
They must have a meal alone and go to the bathroom at some time
Yet all we see is the action, smoking, drinking and sex
Intensified drama to heighten feelings within the viewer
At times causing this intensity to enter their real lives
Until their own lives contain the dramatic intensity expressed upon the screen

I wonder if this leads to a kind of confusion for people who view movies
Their reality intertwined with what they view on the screen
Till life becomes stories on the screen portrayed by those who watch
Their lives written by others than their own selves
History also seems to be rewritten upon the screen

Maybe this is why it is so difficult for some to find themselves
Find the person they are looking at in the mirror
Understand who they are while living who they are
Because they are comparing themselves to what they see on the screen
Until there is nothing left but the emulation of fantasy in real life


In Between

Within self
Between ideal and reality
There is a place of contrast
Who we want to be and who we are
Often become intertwined
Even lying to each other

I once heard myself say,
“I don’t judge others.”
Within this statement
I found I was judging
Even self-righteously
Claiming an ideal as reality
I am better in some way
Than others

A better statement might be
“I try to not judge others.”
But, what if I didn’t judge?
Would I just accept all things?
If asked, would I do anything,
Even if it harmed others?
Or would I judge
Based on my own ethics
What is right and what is wrong,
So as to act the best I know
In accordance to my own beliefs
Striving to acheive
Some sort of harmony
Between ideal and reality?

It’s nice to think “I don’t judge others.”
Being that I don’t like being judged myself
But the reality is different from the ideal
Live and let live
As long as it doesn’t affect me
But what about others
Should I turn away?
This is the complexity

Life is what we do
While striving for our ideals
Seeking to live in peace and harmony
While existing in a world
Of conflict, pain and anguish
Spiritual beings
Living in animal shells
Sometimes we achieve our ideals
Other times we don’t
In between we live our lives






Whether age time or modern thought
Has brought about
The loss of hope dreams and magic
Acceptance of nothingness
Life and it’s meaninglessness
Denial of the patterns
Revealing connection to more
Instead deemed mental illusions
For those satisfied with becoming fertilizer
Nothing beyond/more

Real or not it doesn’t matter
The beyond brings life to the moment
Magic gives rise to hope
More than the eyes perceive
Experiencing endless possibilities
Revealing truth from within
Unseen but through belief

All such things are tarnished
Replaced by anger and skepticism
Brought about by authoritative concepts
Used to control rather than to release/free
Closing the mind to infinity
Imprisoning the heart
Torturing the soul
Leaving us blind to reality
Hanging from the tree of calamity/fear
Condemning the imagination
In exchange for immediate gratification
Accepting death/finality
Drinking poison disguised as nectar
Rejecting the ambrosia offered so freely
To all who are willing to believe