A Lesson

We see many things
Experience many things

Like a journey into the unknown
Alone in a desert
Or floating through space
Passing through each day
Striving for control
Of a future unknown
Spinning round and round
Desperately grasping
For any solid ground/stability

In the end
Is it all to simply
Come to trust the one
Who created it all?
A lesson in eternity
Through humility



If you were to ask me
I would say
“Life is filled with pitfalls”
Some say it is my fault
Others say it is the life I’ve chosen
The illnesses
The losses
The pain
The suffering

Could it be
What is needed
To help me see
The truth I why I’m here?
Beyond the worldly ideas
The material gain
The power struggles
To me
All seem insane

There seems to be a worldly standard
Of what happiness is to be
If one can’t attain it
From that view
There is something wrong with them
But that standard
Isn’t the one for me
My happiness comes from beyond the world
Though in the depths of sorrow
I feel uplifted
Though in the pain of illness
I feel I am being healed
Though many days have passed
Where suffering has ruled
My heart remains with the one
Who suffered for us all
That we may be free
Of the world

Forward In Grace

The story of my life
Is not a good one
One that should be left behind
Not that I did anything terrible
Or despicable
It was merely painful
Nothing memorable
Better left in the past
As I move through the present
Into the future

Memories come and go
Passing through the mind
As unwanted visitors
Finding myself
Accommodating them
While wishing
They would go away

All the while
The past holds images
A map to the present
Getting to where I am
The world is an unkind place
Where people have to strive
To be merciful
It simply isn’t natural
My heart will be mended
As my path continues
Winding my way
Through the straits and narrows
Over mountains
Through deserts
Across rolling oceans
Unfolding in the grace
From above


On My Way Home

No one is perfect
That’s not for me to say
What is perfect anyway?
I know I’m not perfect
To the standard I believe
Does this mean I’m broken?
Not necessarily

They speak of sin
In ways I don’t understand
Sin is much more than a simple action
It is the very corruption
The mud and muck endured each day
Drudging through
At times to exhaustion
Striving to become more
Than the corrupt nature
That is imperfection

There is no easy way
In fact, the more I pray
The more difficult it seems
Ask for greater wisdom
Greater challenges arise
To form that wisdom
Ask for more strength
Greater pressure occurs
To bring about that strength

If life were merely a playground
As so many want it to be
No worries no cares
No need to do anything
Wouldn’t it be nice
To be free of this corruption
Even when given into
It only makes things more difficult/painful
Maybe some are made for this world
I can testify I am not
It doesn’t like me
And I see only the challenge
Of passing through it’s insanity
On my way home


A Passing Day

The days pass strangely
Filled with people complaining
Listening to their pains and woes
Unable to do anything to change things

Inside I have my own complaints
At times wishing I was stronger
More perserverent
Looking back briefly
At the past paths
Seeing great strength
Enduring the madness


Days like today stand out
When everything seems to go wrong
Still the people sing their complaints
I want to scream, but don’t
A shaking, shuddering inside
Holding on
To the only stability I’ve ever known
Deep within and all around
I cry, “Why have you forsaken me?”
Then smile
Realizing it is all a gift
For if the world accepted me
If my days passed uneventful
Without challenge and trial
I would not come to know the true me
Here within all the lies and deception
Brought forth from a corrupt world
The foundation of all the complaints


Where Is Love?

Within the stuggle of life
There is love
Within the pain and suffering
There is love
Within the joy and happiness
There is love
Within us all
There is love
Within all of us together
There is love
Within all of life
There is love

Seemingly elusive is love
It is within all things
Yet cannot be seen
It is within all our actions
Yet often goes unnoticed
While wandering aimlessly
Longing for love
Seeking to find
A sense of completion
While already complete
Living in pain and suffering
Longing and despair
While love permeates everything
Endlessly supplying
Ever there to be received


Outside In

Movies make life seem more dramatic and exciting than it really is
Bored, many try to emulate what the see and experience on the screen
Even changing their looks to that of characters they admire
In the meantime, losing pieces of themselves and reality

Movies ignore, due to time constraints, the everyday lives of the characters
They must have a meal alone and go to the bathroom at some time
Yet all we see is the action, smoking, drinking and sex
Intensified drama to heighten feelings within the viewer
At times causing this intensity to enter their real lives
Until their own lives contain the dramatic intensity expressed upon the screen

I wonder if this leads to a kind of confusion for people who view movies
Their reality intertwined with what they view on the screen
Till life becomes stories on the screen portrayed by those who watch
Their lives written by others than their own selves
History also seems to be rewritten upon the screen

Maybe this is why it is so difficult for some to find themselves
Find the person they are looking at in the mirror
Understand who they are while living who they are
Because they are comparing themselves to what they see on the screen
Until there is nothing left but the emulation of fantasy in real life


In Between

Within self
Between ideal and reality
There is a place of contrast
Who we want to be and who we are
Often become intertwined
Even lying to each other

I once heard myself say,
“I don’t judge others.”
Within this statement
I found I was judging
Even self-righteously
Claiming an ideal as reality
I am better in some way
Than others

A better statement might be
“I try to not judge others.”
But, what if I didn’t judge?
Would I just accept all things?
If asked, would I do anything,
Even if it harmed others?
Or would I judge
Based on my own ethics
What is right and what is wrong,
So as to act the best I know
In accordance to my own beliefs
Striving to acheive
Some sort of harmony
Between ideal and reality?

It’s nice to think “I don’t judge others.”
Being that I don’t like being judged myself
But the reality is different from the ideal
Live and let live
As long as it doesn’t affect me
But what about others
Should I turn away?
This is the complexity

Life is what we do
While striving for our ideals
Seeking to live in peace and harmony
While existing in a world
Of conflict, pain and anguish
Spiritual beings
Living in animal shells
Sometimes we achieve our ideals
Other times we don’t
In between we live our lives






Feelings deep and rich
Profound inner experiences
Caused by external interactions
Often causing confusion
Between the inner and outer life

Soft as a rose petal
Strong/enduring resolve
In a seemingly brutal/uncaring world
Naively used/hurt
Can only blame the self
For being who you are
Self hatred/destructive
Struggling to exist

Gentle touch
Caring heart
Understanding soul
Intense compassion
Priceless qualities
Often regarded as idealistic
No monetary value
To the society
That aches for/crying out
For these very things
Regarding them as weakness


In a selfish/self serving world
One can only live for themselves
Nothing else matters
But one’s own survival
Exploit/use/abuse for gain
Mock the weak
Fear age/death
Seek eternal youth
Desire merely to desire
Possess simply to possess
To fill the inner emptiness

Lying on soft green grass
Looking up to blue cloudless skies
Cooled by the shade of a willow tree
Listening to songs/birds singing joyfully
Quiet stream flowing near
Splashing fish darting/dancing
Peacefully absorbing life as it passes
A tear fills the eye
Upon the cheek moisture builds
Release from the pain/sorrow of humanity


The Seed

It’s strange to be strange
Different in many ways
That can’t be changed
Nor rearranged
While looking the same

Something inside
Where the heart resides
Reflects a different light
Seen but not described
Hidden within the origins of self
Like looking for black upon black
There but not revealed
Yet affecting everything

In youth
It caused much distress
As time passed
Brought insight
Into a world much larger
Than eyes perceive
Deep within
Where all is sin
The heart reveals
The true self
Held in contempt
Until one can only cry
“Why must I lie
Hiding all that I am
And all that I ever will be
Simply to satisfy
Your finite demands
And desires
While a true miracle unfolds
Like a seed in the soil
Bringing forth