City Sunrise

Summer sunrise saturates
the golden landscape with light
City arteries fill
with metal corpuscles of various colors
Hustling and bustling to their places of purpose
Glass reflects light in random directions
Ravens supervise from high rooftops
Pigeons cautiously peck at seeds
and drink from puddles remaining
after the nocturnal water ballet
Worms drawn out by the moisture
move across the concrete
by waves of muscular constriction
in a slow yet desperate race
with the inevitable arrival
of the moisture draining heat
as well as the appetite of birds
darting and chirping from branch to ground
seeking life sustaining energy
before the Sun’s rising power
fully reigns and dominates the day
causing life to recede into the shadows
of the Mother’s loving embrace


Life Goes On

Whoosh, hiss, roar, honk, thump, squeak
Standing on the corner
Waiting to cross the street
Examining the clouds overhead
Mountains in the distance
Birds in the trees
Snake darting to the bushes
Wind on my face
Sun’s warmth on the skin
Thoughts in the mind
Feelings in the body

The light turns
Crossing the street
Cars lined
Idling impatiently
Engines churning and chugging
Exhaling fumes
Passing before their eyes
Silhouettes behind glass
Stepping up to the sidewalk
Looking behind
It begins again

Whoosh, hiss, roar, honk, thump, squeak
Walking upon the grass
Stepping over a snail in the shade
A robin feeds on a worm
Geese overhead in formation
Water flows beneath the trees
A cool breeze
Ducks swim about here and there
Blue sky with cotton ball clouds

Life goes on…

Positive Thinking

I saw a bird eating berries. As it flew away I could see the magic of nature. The bird ate the berries which gives it energy to live then it carries away the seeds of the berries and plants them elsewhere so berries might grow elsewhere.

As I envisioned this process it revealed the true magic of life. What really matters in life. The balance of life. I could see this process happening all around me.

They say that we should think positive. But what is positive? They say that positive is what feels good to each person. This means that positive has no actual definition other than what causes a person to feel good.

If things in life are going your way in life then you would view it as a positive. Does this mean that your positive is everyone’s positive?

When I watch a skyscraper being built I don’t view this as a positive. Yet, it is a positive to those who are building it and making millions of dollars. I see destruction as they see wealth. Universally, is that skyscraper a positive? Does it benefit nature?

Humans seems to stand outside of the magic of nature. The simply process of life. They have deemed their importance to be above that of nature. Their positives are not in align with the positives of life.

I read an article about how those who believe in climate change are often seen as hypocrites because they still do the things that they believe cause climate change. It was compared to cigarette smoking. People are so addicted to the way of life that they can’t stop, even though they know it is causing great damage.

Is this addiction actually a universal positive? That, just as with cigarette smoking, humans will simply keep doing what they are doing until they destroy themselves. They continue to live their human “positives” which are, in reality, a positive for nature because nature, which is ever patient, will win in the end.

It seems negative only to humans because they are the ones who are threatened by their own behavior.

Nature has tried over and over again to balance the human population yet humans have found ways to defy these methods of nature, deeming nature to be the enemy because they believe that she is trying to kill them. They fight against nature and with each temporary victory they declare this a positive.

When thinking of positives, it seems that positives often lead to negatives. They seem to go hand in hand just as life and death go hand in hand in nature. Humans think that it is a positive to extend their life expectancy but if this is not in balance with the births then it will actually be a negative.

Humans have a way of thinking more of themselves than they really are. From one time thinking the Earth was the center of the universe and now they see themselves as the central theme of the Earth. Their hunger for control is led by their need to feel good. To think positive. In the end, their addiction to feeling good may well lead them to their own demise.

Spiritual Journey

There are times when wish I could express my spiritual journey. Express it in ways that are concise and informative. Yet, if I were to try it would be an expression that would seem mysterious and even contradicting.

As I go deeper into my spiritual journey, I find that it is everything I expected it to be while being everything I would have never expected it to be. I pass through that which I never expected which reveals that which I expected.

One must seek the darkness in order to experience the light. If one seeks the light they find only darkness.

The one thing I know for sure. As I pass deeper into my spiritual journey, all that once seemed important is no longer important. What is now important is not of importance to the place where I once was.

I find myself shedding all that I once was and all the material things that defined who I once was. I do so with no feeling or regard to that person for that person was nothing more than an illusion. Now, as myself, I attach to few things. Only things that increase my connection to the Goddess and God. Knowledge, understanding, lesson learned. I have attained small trinkets that honor my path and the Goddess which I hold dear but still have no attachment to them.

There is no longer a plan. I live in each moment and experience more things in a single moment than I used to do while seeking out adventures in the world around me. In the dark caverns of self there are many unexplored places that reveal new and amazing things. The most difficult part is getting to them.

My connection to nature is almost eerie. Ravens simply appear in my life, coming to offer me messages. Mother Goddess reveals herself to me within the trees, grasses and flowers. Within the insects and animals that seem to speak to me in an unknown language that doesn’t contain sound.

At times. I feel so connected that it seems like I am being taken someplace. Like lying down on a stream of water with closed eyes and allowing it to carry me to where it is going. Not asking or caring where.

There really are no words to describe the spiritual journey. It isn’t easy. There are many paths one can take. In some ways, I chose the direct route because I have nothing to lose. Since I have nothing to lose, rather than end it all, I decided to begin.


Information Overload

There is a simple way to put me in a bad mood and even cause me to feel depressed. Just show me the news.

I don’t normally seek out the news. To me, the modern news media is like the National Enquirer. It’s just garbage. One day I turned on the TV, not knowing what channel that would appear. It was the local news talking about men in another state who had kidnapped, killed and then cut up a young woman.

Did I really need to know this?! How does this information benefit my life?

It doesn’t benefit my life. In fact, all it does it cause me to think, “Life here is really f-d up.”

The fact is that this type of news is being constantly broadcast. Negativity everywhere. And they wonder why so many people suffer anxiety and depression. One can only think that they know this and want the people to be living in a world of despair so they create one for them and constantly bombard them with these thoughts and images.

The interesting thing is how the news is presented. It is like watching an entertainment show. Everyone is smiling. They are playing around and having fun. The women are well built and attractive. All while they input these negative things into our minds. It seems like a trap to me.

Why then do people watch this garbage?

It might be because humans like to feel informed, even if that information doesn’t benefit them in the least. We were once taught that knowledge is power. Then the term changed to information is power. Both might be true but I think there is a difference between knowledge and information.

Knowledge is information that benefits your life. Not all information benefits our lives. The funny thing is, in this somewhat paranoid world we live in, some people feel that if they don’t know all they can know then they might be missing something. Again, it has all the makings of a trap.

Information can be beneficial. Information can be deceptive. When information is being transmitted constantly from countless outlets our minds can become bombarded with this information, unable to discern what is beneficial from what is deceptive. It comes so fast that many people simply believe the information without knowing the facts.

The truth is many people don’t even know who they truly are because they are so inundated with words and images of what others want us to think that they are truly lost. Hence the whole, “find myself” scenario.

When I hear that someone is “finding myself” my first thought is, “You are right here in front of me.” I understand though. The first step to finding oneself is to eliminate all the outside influences. Go to the place of silence away from the world. No one will ever find themselves within such a media infested world. There, after you have purged yourself of all the garbage this society has filled you with, you will find yourself.

In a society where stress and pressure is the norm we find that our lives are all about coping with the stress and pressure. A stress and pressure that often has nothing to do with us personally.

Our jobs push us to give all that we can give to them. This often leaves us with little left for those things that are truly important. Like families, our spirituality and simply allowing us to live our lives. They say that if we work hard we will be rewarded. Then they show us those few people who might have received some sort of reward but, of course, we don’t know the true story behind it all.

The truth is, every portrayal, be it from the news or any aspect of the media, only shows us one small part of the story. Only that which they want us to know. If we knew the truth, it might cause us to rethink the entire thing. If they overload us with information. Keep us so busy doing things that really don’t matter to us then “they” (whoever they are) can go on doing whatever it is that “they” are doing without us knowing because our minds are filled with the meaningless information they provide us.

The interesting thing is how people respond to this meaningless information. They often fight and bicker over the meaningless information. Taking it to heart and personalizing it. This gives it all a whole new dimension in meaninglessness. Not only do they hunger for meaningless information, they actually take the meaningless information so seriously that it becomes what they believe. Believing it so much as to fight others who might believe differently. They call this “Healthy debate. It’s what our country is all about.”

I don’t think there is a single person who really knows what this country is all about. I’ve even sent several letters to past presidents asking, “What does this country stand for?” I’ve yet to receive a single response. Truth is, it stands for whatever a person wants it to stand for. It has no real basis or foundation. It is what they say it is today. Tomorrow it will be something else.

So we go on living within this mess, hoping it will all change one day while we continue to contribute to the mess simply because we don’t know what else we can do.

What We Believe

We are what we believe. This is really all it seems to come down to in regards to our lives. Looking around at the many ideas, theories and concepts of life portrayed by many different people, it seems that there is a need to convince others of what they believe. It seems to be the root of all conflicts in the world.

There are many conspiracy theories roaming about in the collective consciousness. It is understandable because most all of us know that something just isn’t right in the world. We interact with the physical world and the “reality” that is being portrayed while, on the inside, we know things should be different. The problem is that we don’t really know what it is that should be different. We can see aspects that should be different but not the entirety of what is truly wrong, if anything.

There seems to be many people and groups vying for control. I can’t help but ask, “Why are they vying for control?” There are those who hunger for money so much that they spend every waking hour devising different ways to gain money. This never made any sense to me. If you have what you need, why do you need more?

There seems to be people and groups of people vying for control of our minds. Ideas and theories presented as facts are everywhere. They are like traps put out to capture us. Some are very well made using psychology to gain our attention and our belief in these ideas. Some look so good that we can’t help but fall into the trap.

The thing is that these traps seem to be everywhere. At home, the grocery store, the television, religion, the internet, just to name a few. All these things are used to implant ideas in our minds as to how we should look, feel, act and do. It is often like our lives are merely constant mass programming.

What do these people want and why do they want to control us? In some ways, the real battleground seems to be the collective consciousness. Like they are all fighting for control of the collective consciousness. This would make sense being that this is where all actual power originates. The more people who believe in something the more power that thing has in the collective consciousness.

There were times when the collective consciousness was more stable, but never secure. Now the collective consciousness seems to be very divided. This causes much confusion within us all, since we are all connected to the collective consciousness. No matter the ideas that state we are individuals, the fact will always remain that we are all connected to each other.

In some ways it’s like a person being chained to another person, both wanting to go in different directions. It could be said that, because of this, diversity of ideas are not a good thing. It would be much easier if all people adhered to the same ideas then it would stabilize the collective consciousness. Whether we know it or not, we are all very diverse within ourselves. This thought often causes conflict with others who believe that we are only one thing and can’t be multiple things.

It is true that we are all one thing. We are the universe. The physical universe is made up of many elements, not just one element. There are some who are seeking the sole element that is the mother of all elements. It is fine to spend their time doing this but it still remains that we are made up of a variety of elements. In simple terms, Earth (body), Air (breath), Water (blood), Fire (life force or spirit).

The Earth is one whole that is made up of millions of different things. Therefore we are made up of many different things. Some like to say that a man is a man and a woman is a woman, each need to take their place in life. Yet, if a person looks at themselves honestly, no matter their sex, they will find they are both. We were born of both male and female.

In the end, it seems to come down to what we each believe. What we prefer to add to the collective consciousness. If we seek destruction then that is what we add to the collective consciousness. If we seek peace then this is what we add to the collective consciousness. The Gods and Goddesses we believe are given power within the collective consciousness. The more people who believe in a particular God or Goddess increases the power of they have in the collective consciousness.

Ultimately, we are the contributors to the collective consciousness. What we contribute affects everyone else. It even affects the universe itself. Our lives are not what we produce and gain in the physical world. Our lives are what we contribute to the collective consciousness.

Beyond Belief

A few weeks ago I came home to find a flyer on my door. It was colorful and vibrant. It said there was going to be a picnic at the park with food, drinks and music. It was with a local Christian church. I laid the flyer down on the counter and didn’t think much of it.

As the day approached I didn’t having anything going on so I decided to go to the park for the picnic. It was nearby. An enjoyable walk.

As I came to the park I could hear the music. A live band playing modern Christian music. I didn’t think much of it. What’s a party without music? There were kids running about and mostly adults sitting at picnic table lined up.

There was a lot of food lined up on tables at the front of the set up. I walked around and observed. They played soccer out in the field. The mothers watched over the young ones as they wandered about getting into this and that. Some were playing on the playground equipment. Groups of men stood around talking while some women stood aside listening inattentively to whatever the men were saying. There were groups of women talking while children hastened about them.

All seemed normal so I went and filled a plate with food. Of course I had to pick and choose foods that I actually eat. I was able to find enough to enjoy. I passed on the sugary punches and sodas. I found some water which was perfect.

I sat at a table with other men sitting about talking. I didn’t say anything. One took notice of me and moved over to sit across from me. He smiled and introduced himself. I returned the nicety. He then said, “I haven’t seen you before.”

I looked at him and smiled, replying, “I haven’t see you before either.” He laughed seemingly uncomfortable. He could see that I’m not an open book to just anyone.

“A few weeks back I found a flyer on my door inviting me to this picnic. I wasn’t doing anything so I came to the picnic. Is this a problem?”

“Oh no, it’s no problem. You are very welcome here. I was just wondering if you were a new church member.”

“No. I’m not.” I said plainly, without any emotion then went back to eating. First I gave my love and gratitude to Mother Goddess by kissing a broccoli floret before eating it. It is how I say grace.

He stared at me as I was eating. I found this strange. He then seemed to find the courage to speak, as if it took courage to speak with me, “Would you like to attend our church. It is very nice and casual. We have music and prayers. The people are very friendly.”

“If the people here are part of your church then then do look very friendly. Thank you for the invite to your church but I don’t have any desire to worship your god. I just came here to be friendly and spend some time with people.”

“That’s fine.” he said. “We’re glad you came to the picnic. Enjoy yourself.”

“Thanks.” I said.

I continued eating slowing, enjoying watching the people and all the motion and commotion. The children are so fun to watch as they play and do what adults are no longer allowed to do.

As I was eating some apple pie, a little indulgence I couldn’t resist, the man slid back over. He had been watching me the entire time out of the corner of his eye. I was aware of this. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Depends, but we won’t know until you ask it.” I knew what was coming.

“Do you believe in out Savior Jesus Christ?”

I just looked at him and shook my head, not as an answer but out of sadness for him. He felt so compelled to know what I believed but nothing about me. I smiled, picked up my plate and walked away.

“It was just a simple question. I didn’t mean to offend you.” he called out behind me. I just smiled being that he hadn’t offended me. I simply have no desire to debate religion. I’ve been there before. I’ve had this very question posed to me so many times and, when I say that I worship a Goddess and a God, they just don’t know what to think. My answer doesn’t spur curiosity. It seems to create fear in them. The get defensive and start telling about their Christ. They like to say they are opened minded but so rarely do they want to know about me, only what I believe.

Truth is, I would be friends with them. I would come to their houses and enjoy dinner with them. I would even do the dishes afterward. Even though I don’t care much for sports I would watch a game with them. I would do all of this if they wanted to know me, not only see me by what I believe.

As I walked home I thought, “I am so tired of Christianity. Not angry, just tired of their constant badgering and pressure to believe what they believe.”

I knew what would happen before I went to the picnic, but I always like to hope that it would be different. I didn’t ask them to build a fire and all of us dance in a circle around it. I listened to their strange music without complaining. I enjoyed the company of all the people and experiencing them as themselves. Why is it so important that I believe what they believe? Sadly, the answer to this question and many others is, “Because the bible says so.”

This week I came home and found a flyer on my door. I was inviting me to a pool party at my apartment complex. It said there would be food, drinks and music. I thought, “That would be cool.” I then looked a the bottom of the flyer. The pool party is sponsored by the cable company. On the back of the flyer it showed deals for cable internet, phone and TV.

I had gone to these parties before. They seem innocent enough when I first get there. The food is cheap snack and little tiny cans of soda. As I walk in I have to go through a sales pitch. I threw the flyer away.

As I threw the flyer away I was reminded of the picnic at the park put on by the local church. They didn’t want my presence or friendship. They wanted to sell me their “Savior” in exchange for some food. Just as the cable company wanted to sell me a new cable package in exchange for some cheap food and drinks.

Within Life

It is one thing to be able to see the water spring in the distance. It is another thing to actually get there.

There are many times when I have seen the water spring in the distance, feeling that I can see who I am and how I relate to the Earth and the Universe. It was much like looking at a painting and feeling that I am experiencing what the artist was experiencing while creating the painting when, in fact, I can only perceive through my own perspective what it may have been like. Many times this perspective is quite different than the perspective of the artist while painting.

Many times, when I have seen the water spring in the distance I felt that was enough. As long as I kept the spring in my line of sight then it was all I needed. The truth is that, between me and the spring was a dense, dark, almost cavernous forest I would have to pass through to get to the spring. If I were to go through this forest, arrive safely at the spring, what then? These are things that kept me from actually going to the spring.

The universe doesn’t think this way. Our task is to complete our spiritual journey here in the flesh within this limited physical realm. Each time I’ve tried to just go on with my life in the image of who I thought I was supposed to me, the more difficult life became. I was doing the things that were expected of me but they didn’t reap any reward. In fact, I didn’t even know what the reward was other than mere survival. It was an empty existence. Still I stubbornly continued on in my suffering.

With a sudden turn of events I found myself passing through the forest. At first it was a strange and bizarre experience. Viewing this life in ways I had never viewed it before. With each step new and stranger things appeared before me. The strange thing was that the anxiety and near constant fear I had felt at the edge of the forest was no longer. I was never able to pinpoint what is was that I was always in fear of there on the edge of the forest. It wasn’t until I was in the forest that I knew what it was that I feared. In some ways I thought I feared the forest. No, I feared the world there on the edge of the forest. I feared the society that was supposed to be our guiding force through this life.

Many people believe that, though there are gods and goddesses, we alone make our own choices. There are many ways to look at this statement. Yes, it is me who has to act, but what do I act upon? This was always the question. Then there is another aspect to this. It is not until I came to lay down in the water of the stream and place my faith in the universe to carry me to where I need to be, that I actually entered the forest. It was not just me, it was a combination of me and the divine. It was me who had to act through my submission to the Mother for Her to pick me up and carry me upon Her currents.

On my journey through the forest, I have come to see myself in a variety of ways. At one time it became very confusing when I could see within myself, both a male and a female aspect. There was some conflict within me but, through my faith in the Mother to carry me, I didn’t fight. It was much like going through a horror ride on a rail cart at an amusement park. Images passed before me. Monsters jumped out at me. I even screamed at times but the cart simply moved on to the next part of the house.

Where I am now is a much quieter part of the forest. I can even see the light at the parameter in the distance. Within me the male, who has been redefined by the divine and the female are perfect equals. This from within causes me to look at women on the outside and see them in a very different way. I can see the power of who they are as equals to me.

All my life I thought I was much a proponent of women’s rights and equality. It wasn’t until this point in the forest where I realized I didn’t truly see women as equal. This was because I didn’t see the female within me as equal. I saw here as a foolish child who needed to be controlled and protected. As a fragile beauty that had to contained rather than allowing her to be free. Because of this view of the female within me, this is also how I saw women. I adored their beauty and seeming innocence so much that I tried to keep them in a cage, their views to be heard but often seen as irrational or childlike.

After this realization, when I looked into the seeming innocent eyes of a woman, behind the color and eyeliner on her face, there was a power I had never before understood nor experienced. This power was not only in the woman but also within me. I am neither male nor female. I am both in equal proportions.

It was then when I came across Witchcraft or Wicca. This led me to see this very concept come alive in the relationship of all life as we know it and more. The interaction of the Sun, (God) with the Earth (Goddess). Both equals in the creation and nurturing of life. When I stood on the hillside within the forest and first saw this interaction of intercourse, I saw beauty as I had never before comprehended.

I fell to my knees in worship of this grand beauty beyond any beauty I had ever experienced. It was then that a hand touched my shoulder. I turned and saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She was in female form as I had always known but She was more. She smiled to me with Her hand to me, pulling me to my feet. As I looked into Her eyes I instantly knew She is my Mother. The Mother of us all.

I immediately understood the power I am able to see within every woman. I also understood the same power within myself. She walked me from the forest. At first the light was harsh but as my vision cleared, I could see the spring far in the distance beyond rich and full meadows of life. Within the meadows flowed many small streams that carried life to the meadows.

As I looked upon this sight in amazement I turned to the Mother. She smiled and reached Her hand out, guiding me toward the grand meadows filled with life. I began to slowly walk into the tall grass with some hesitation. When I turned to Her for some reassurance, She was gone.

The grasses caressed my legs as the wind flowed among the strands. The Sun warmed my skin. The trees sheltered and embraced me. The birds flying freely overhead. The wolves running and playing within the meadows. I could see Her within all the life that surrounded me. Within the life that I am.